


Oh... Baby!

by joeyrz



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-10
Updated: 2000-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:57:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joxer is always getting into weird situations.  This might be the weirdest one of all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh... Baby!

**Author's Note:**

> In this, my world, nothing that had to do with 'the vision', 'the crucifixion', 'the resurrection', Eve or 'the twilight of the gods' ever happened. The gals *do* know about Jace, but "Lyre, Lyre..." didn't happened since Joxer doesn't have anything against Jace's lifestyle. This is my story, and I'm sticking with it.

Two gods stood side by side, watching the midwife help the mortal woman deliver what were turning out to be triplets.

"Three of them… one of them mortal, one demi-god and a full god. Unheard of before," the elder god murmured.

"A lover, a fighter and a trouble maker… but who's who?"

"We can't assign godhood to him, until we know what he's going to grow up to be. We can't make a mistake here. If Zeus knows what happened here, he may very well kill them before they're strong enough."

"Do you think it's best they grow up as mortals, Uncle?"

"Yes, we will have to suppress their powers and on their 25th birthday they'll get them back. By then we'll be able to know what godhood to give him, and they'll be old enough so that Zeus can't get to them. They'll be weak, but not so much that a bite of ambrosia won't cure."

"Can we-"

"No," the older god interrupted. "No, we cannot interfere with their lives, directly or indirectly. We will not mold them to our wishes, and we will not leave a bread crumb trail."

"I will miss them, Uncle. They're my first children."

"I know, Strife… I know…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

13 years later…

"Nonononono… No, Unk, how could ya'?"

"They were being dedicated to me, I couldn't refuse."

The god of Mischief stalked towards Ares. "You are the god of War! What to ya mean ya couldn' refuse 'em?!?!"

"Their father is a loyal warlord, and I wasn't there at the time. Anyway, I couldn't very well show up and say, 'Gee, you're a really good warlord and all, but since your kids are my nephew's sons, you should dedicate them to him instead'."

"I hate this Unk… I really do."

"Me too, Strife, me too," Ares said, not taking his eyes away from the mirror, where a picture of the triplets slowly zeroed in to the youngest of the three… the one Adanaan called Joxer…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Present…

A young warrior traveled down the well worn dirt road, whistling a merry tune as he thought of the two friends he'd left behind that morning and the brother he was about to visit.

Joxer had woken up that morning to Gabrielle and Xena's merry rendition of the time honored birthday-song. Today, at sunset, he and his brothers would be 25 years old.

The mighty warrior had been moved almost to tears as his companions whipped out his presents. Xena had bought him a new, durable, un-bent sword, while Gabrielle had given him a brand new shirt, of the softest blue cotton he'd ever felt. She said as she'd given it to him that it was for when he met up with Jace today.

Embracing his friends, Joxer had settled down to eat breakfast, complements of the Warrior Princess, and afterwards, he changed into his new shirt, picked up his pack and helmet (his 'armor' being somewhat stuffed into said pack), said goodbye, and left.

It had been a surprisingly easy trek, the dirt road having been used long and often enough to be clear of tree roots, rocks and pebbles. Looking up at the late afternoon sun, Joxer calculated that he must be bumping (and hopefully, not literally) into Jace any minute now.

"Joxie!"

The call brought his head back down, and he smiled hugely as he saw his brother running towards him from the opposite direction. Joxer shouldered his pack more securely to him and started running also.

The brothers met in a warm embrace, holding each other tightly, sharing and expressing their feelings as effectively in that embrace as only twin brothers seemed able to do.

"Happy Birthday Jace!"

"Happy Birthday, Joxie!" Jace replied, dropping the fake accent he used with everyone else, knowing how much it annoyed his twin, and finding no reason to shield himself around Joxer.

"How are you, how's Marcus?" Joxer asked, referring to Jace's lover.

"I'm fine, he's more than fine," Jace said, winking and continued. "He's with the troops, keeping them in check, not letting them get into trouble. I told him to come with me, but he said that since he spent our last birthday with me, I should spend this one with my brothers. Speaking of which, where's Jett?"

"Visiting Dad for a while."

"But isn't Dad in jail?"

"Yep!"

"Oh! We should go visit him."

Joxer bent to get his pack and hand Jace his. "No can do. He's in Miramar, and they don't allow visitors, specially twins."

"Oh, pooh! We were all supposed to be together today!"

Jace looked up and saw that the sun would set in another half hour glass or so. "He better get going if we want to find a place to stay the night, Jox."

Any reply the warrior was about to make, got cut off by the agonizing screams of a woman not far down the road. The twins didn't hesitate to run towards her, and made in time to see some bandits run off with the woman's money bag. Joxer was about to run after them and get the money bag back, but he noticed the blood on the road, and turned back to the woman.

Jace was already at her side, and was trying to stop the bleeding in her chest, but it was a lost battle. Trying to breathe through the blood filling her mouth, she managed to utter a broken, desperate whisper.

"… my… baby…"

As the Fates would have it, one of those one in a million lifetimes coincidences happened. Just as the sun set, heralding the triplets 25th birthday, thus granting them their powers back, the woman expelled her last breathe, Jace's hand flew to her stomach, a million different thoughts as to how to save the baby, obviously young to be delivered, running through his mind, Joxer reached his brother and the woman, settling one hand over Jace's and the other on his stomach as the sight of blood made his insides twist and two gods appeared, giving off enough energy to make it possible…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The warrior moaned pitifully on the bed, as he turned and once again started to dry-heave, having vomited all the contents in his stomach already.

To the side, three gods stood each of them worried, while the two eldest talked to the newest god in Olympus.

"We're your sons?!?!"

"Yea, calm down, you're gonna wake him!" Strife hissed.

"But, but…"

"It all had to be done like that, son. Ya have no idea how hard it was for me not to take you with me when ya three were born."

"So, I'm a god, he's a demi-god and Jett's mortal? How's that?"

"We don't know," Ares finally spoke up. "It has never happened before. Best we can tell, you were supposed to be twins, not triplets. So when you and Jett separated in your mother's womb, your powers were distributed wrong."

"And…"

"He's weak, too much strain. He was to eat ambrosia, get stronger, or he'll die."

"What!?"

Strife put a comforting arm around his son. "His body isn't meant to be pregnant, he's still half-mortal. A male god can carry to term. Joxer can either become a god, and the child too, or they both die."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Zeus, please!"

"No. He will not be allowed!"

Ares paced in front of the bed where Joxer laid, his body much thinner than it had been two days ago. Jace sat beside his brother, trying to soothe him and get him to eat *something*.

Strife stood in a corner, watching in twisted fascination as his grandfather refused to grant his son and the child he carried a chance at life.

"You cannot be serious, Father!" Ares shouted.

Zeus ignored his son, ready to transport out of the chambers.

Strife started when he saw Zeus ready to depart, and pushed off the wall he'd been trying to meld into and protested.

"How can you just say no? He is my *son*! My youngest and the only one who'd been devoted to me in addition to Ares. How can you be so cold-hearted as to take away Joxer *and* an innocent child's chances for living? How can you get away with granting 'Jercules' godhood for your own selfish reasons, and not give my child a second thought?"

"Are you challenging my authority, godling?" Zeus snarled.

Before Strife could respond, Ares grabbed him from behind, lightly closing his hand over the god of mischief's mouth.

"You *have* to grant him immortality, Father."

"And pray tell, why should I?"

Ares hesitated, not knowing how Joxer would take this, but deciding he and Strife where important enough to take the risk.

"Because… because I'm gonna take Joxer as my Consort."

Three heads lifted or turned to look directly at Ares.

"What!?" Both Zeus and Strife squeaked.

"Joxer has been my lover for years, and I was going to make him my Consort on his 25th birthday, under better circumstances, though."

Ares conveniently omitted that he had planned to *ask* Joxer to be his Consort on his birthday, when he learned the truth about himself and his brothers.

Hera, who had been watching the whole scene from her temple (and agreed whole-heartedly with Strife earlier comments), decided this was a perfect time to pop into his son's temple, not before grudgingly calling Aphrodite and Hephaestus for help, quickly explaining the situation.

Ares jumped slightly when the three gods appeared in his temple chambers.

While Aphrodite went quickly to her "studmuffin's" side and the god of fire went to congratulate Ares, who was still slightly holding onto Strife, Hera went to her husband's side.

"Well, dearest," she practically sneered the endearment. "It seems this decision has been taken away from you. Only three of The Twelve's approval is needed to grant a Consort godhood, and it looks like we have four here. But then again, call the rest, I don't think they'll have anything against granting Ares his wish, they don't really *hate* him, you know? Tartarus, why don't you call that bastard of yours, I'm sure that even he doesn't hate Ares so much as to deny Joxer's life."

Zeus stared intently at his wife, then looked up to see all but one of those present glaring at him, daring him to refuse, daring him to break his own god-dammed laws.

Refusing to acknowledge his defeat, the king of the gods disappeared from the room.

Strife and Jace's whoops of joy startled the rest of the gods into action.

Ares went to Joxer's side, carefully siting beside him and pulling him to rest against his chest. Hera created a plate of ambrosia, which she held for Ares to take from.

The war god slowly fed his lover the ambrosia, and at the first bite, all the gods felt the dual sensation of two new gods being formed. Ares didn't stop feeding Joxer until the former demi-god's face regained his color and the energy started to build inside him.

Still winded from the strain to his body, Joxer fell into a recuperating sleep.

Slowly, the rest of the gods left, first Hera, then Hephaestus, and last Dite, Strife and Jace, who went to Love's Temple to decide Jace's title.

On the bed, Ares laid down, and pulled Joxer to him, finding naturally the comfortable position they always slept in.

"Sleep well, Joxer."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After Joxer slept off the exhaustion out of his body, and the Houses of War and Love made their decisions about Joxer and Jace's official titles, Olympus celebrated yet another grand feast. Only one god hadn't attended, and another hadn't wanted to be there.

Jace was inducted as the God of Romance of the House of Love and Joxer as the God of Mayhem of the House of War.

The destiny of the child Joxer was carrying was yet to be decided, since it wasn't conceived to any Olympian… at least that's what everyone thought…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was just the day after the Olympian feast, 6 days after the triplets birthday, when Joxer finally told Ares what he had been thinking.

"Love?"

"Yes, Joxer?"

"I want to see the baby's mother."

The war god lifted his head from his lover… his Consort's chest, and tried to read his expression.

"Why?"

"I think… I think she deserves to know her baby survived, and I…" Joxer choked and stopped to clear his throat. "I want… no, I *need* to know if the baby's father is around, if he's looking for the mother, his kid, if…if he wants… wants his kid."

Ares saw the tears that Joxer refused to let fall, and gathered his lover in his arms.

As he rocked his lover's shaking form, Ares tried to reassure him.

"We don't have to, love. The baby's a god or goddess now, a full god, not a demi-god, he or she couldn't live amongst mortals. He doesn't have to know."

Joxer reared back from Ares' strong arms.

"What?! You can't be serious Ares! What if this was your child? Wouldn't you like to know if he was alive? Know about your wife too? I can't believe you just suggested that! I am going to find the father, with or without your help!" Joxer pushed his four month pregnant figure off the bed.

Ares fell back onto the bed and groaned.

"Joxer, love, I'm saying this for you… for us. You have to carry the baby to term. In five months, are you willing to give it up to a total stranger, who we don't even know would be a good father?"

Joxer hesitated at that, but still argued.

"But he deserves to know, we, the baby deserve to know. And what if he turns out to be a loving husband, a good father?"

"And if he doesn't? Are you willing to let the child grow up like that?"

"You and Strife left my brothers and I live like that! And we are his kids!"

Ares cringed and sat up. He knew the sadistic punishments the triplet's mortal 'father' gave them. He knew it would have come up sooner or later. Trying to stay calm, he took a deep breath.

"Jox, she was your mother."

"He was a bastard!" Joxer yelled.

The war god got up from the bed and went to his lover's side.

"We had no choice, we had to leave you with her… and him."

"You could have killed him! Jail isn't good enough for what he did to Jace and me night after night! You could have… should have…"

Ares stood by and he helplessly watched as Joxer broke down in tears and sat on the floor, not daring to touch him, feeling the waves of anger flowing from him.

"I… after all those years… of, of torture… of him hitting us, punishing us… for stuff we couldn't help or didn't do… after I, we forgave him, loved him… just because he was our father… and he isn't even that! I hate him… I hate him so much!!!"

Ares looked up from his lover to see Strife materialize on the floor beside Joxer. The god of mischief looked up to his Uncle and silently pleaded to be left alone his son.

Ares nodded, knowing Joxer needed the love and comfort of his real father now more than his. Casting one last glance at his lover, now sobbing into Strife's chest, he left to see his uncle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In another temple on Olympus, a god mourned the passing of his lover…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ares appeared in the Underworld with no big and bright show, his thoughts focused on finding Hades. He knew his mere presence here was known to his uncle, and he would not be ignored for long.

True to his prediction, Hades appeared not a minute later, his black cloak flowing and shimmering from the light that still clung to it.

"Yes, Ares?"

"I need to see the memories of the mother of the child Joxer is carrying."

"I had figured as much," Hades said as he materialized at small crystal ball, and handed it over to his nephew.

Ares took it delicately, and walked over to a small pool nearby. Dropping the ball in, it submerged and images started forming on the water.

After stopping for a minute over the image of a small fetus, Ares reached a finger inside the pool and the images started going faster and faster, the fetus changing from baby to child to young girl to woman in less than a minute, until finally Ares removed his finger, the images slowing down until they started going at normal pace.

Ares watched as the young woman, who he suddenly realized he didn't even know her name, picked wildflowers.

"Thais, her name is Thais."

Ares looked briefly at his uncle both in confusion and gratitude. Hades shrugged.

Turning back their attention to the pool, they saw Thais raise and turn, towards the young man at the edge of the clearing. Her face lit up as she ran into his arms.

Ares frowned, then ran his hand over the pool. Something about the young farmer boy seemed familiar. As the pictured cleared once again, Ares and Hades gaped, having removed the illusions which the young woman had believed and remembered as such, and seeing the scene as it truly happened.

Looking at each other, and back at the pool, both gods agreed silently and shimmered out of the Underworld, leaving the pool playing the image of Thais kissing her lover deeply as his snow white wings enfolded them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Why Dad? Why!?"

Strife hugged Joxer closer to him, and released a shaky breath.

"I was trying to spare you a worse fate. The children of the House of War have never had had a good or easy childhood." Strife tighten his hold as Joxer tried to break free.

"Now wait, hold on, I'm not saying you had it easy. But how much worse would it have been to be separated from your brothers, Jace at the mercy of other gods who knew that no matter how much you beat another god up, he's not gonna die? And you, left as an outcast because you were a demi-god with no visible physical power, and as a constant reminder to Adanaan of your mother sleeping with me? And Jett, mortal and alone and defenseless?

"I hated every minute of it, watching you grow up without me, yet making me proud. Knowing that if I ever went to you, Zeus would have found out and had come after you, when you were children and at his mercy.

"And your father was a double edged sword, sadistic enough to make me want to kill him, important enough to whatever the Fates had planned that I couldn't kill him."

"You were… were going to… kill him?"

"I wanted to from the minute he first laid a hand on Jett, but the Fates denied me the pleasure. And now he's rotting in some jail, paying his dues here, before paying them in Tartarus."

Joxer just sniffed and hid his face on Strife's chest.

"Oh, Jox… I wanted to, so many times. But it meant so many things going worse that they already were. Unk and I, we suppressed your powers when you were born, you were as mortal and vulnerable as the next guy. Killing your… Adanaan meant going against the Fates, bringing you to the attention to Zeus. The spell was unbreakable, we made it that way. I… we didn't know…"

Joxer looked up to focus on his dad's face and saw the raw emotion there.

"I… I understand." Joxer pulled back from the embrace gently, his back hurting from staying hunched over too long. Smiling at Strife in reassurance, he got up from the floor and sat back in the bed.

"Does Jace-"

"He knows. Unk and I, we talked and explained this to him."

"Good… um… what about Jett? He's still mortal, right?"

"Uh, yeah. We were kinda hoping you two would be there when he explained all of this to him. When I offer him immortality."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'd make him a god if I could, but the best Unk and I can do is that."

"Yeah, yeah… I'll be there and I'm sure Jace will be too."

"Good. Now-"

Whatever Strife was going to say, it was interrupted by the arrival of Hades.

"What's up?"

"Strife, Joxer, you guys better come with me."

"What's going on, Hades?" Joxer asked as he got up from the bed.

Hades hesitated, but decided to let them know beforehand. "We found the father."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The trip to the Temple of Love drained the last of the energy Joxer had after his breakdown. He felt two very now familiar set of hands grip him tightly and settle him on a soft couch.

"Ar?"

"Right here, love."

Joxer opened his eyes and saw his lover crouching down next to him.

"Who?" was all Joxer managed to ask.

Ares shifted aside and the god of mayhem finally saw the father of the child he carried, a god he recognized from the feast.

After opening and closing his mouth several times, Joxer squeaked,

"Bliss!?!"

and promptly fainted.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Joxer came to, he was back in his and Ares' bed, surrounded by what seemed to be half of Olympus.

Jace, Strife and Ares sat beside him on the bed, Hera, Aphrodite and Hephaestus on a very pink couch the love goddess had obviously created, Cupid with his son Bliss at the foot of the bed, while Zeus and Athena paced around the room.

"This is absurd," Zeus was saying. "How could you not tell us that the mother of the child was your lover? What are you doing a mortal lover anyway? You're way too young!"

"I… I didn't know! Dad had me away doing a job in Athens, I didn't come home until a day before the feast. It was then when I knew she had died. I didn't know she was pregnant, I had been away that long. We were only together once!"

"How old are you?" Joxer asked Bliss as he pushed himself onto a sitting position, leaning back on Ares' chest.

The younger god scuffed the floor and mumbled. Cupid answered when it was clear the Bliss' answer was unintelligible. "Three, Bliss is three years old."

At Joxer and Jace's bulging eyes, Hera hastened to explain.

"Gods grow at different rates. Some are born fully grown, some grow at normal mortal rate, and others suffer great growth spurts, like Bliss. But he's still too young!"

Bliss turned to Joxer, needing him to understand more than anyone else. "I… we were friends. She was really nice. I met her, Thais, one night while I was watching the stars. We got to talking, and we liked to spend time together. We got to be really good friends. I… we - experimented - together. She was as new to making love as I was. Nothing more than kissing, until Dad told me I had a really long job to do. I was real excited that he and Gran'ma had trusted me to do it, it was real important. I went to say goodbye to her, and she was sad and so was I, but I was so happy too… and… and it just happened! I left the other day, after a short goodbye… I didn't…" Bliss choked on his words and Cupid pulled him into his arms while he cried. He may have looked like a grownup god, but he was still a child; one that was lost his best friend and first lover all at once.

Joxer got up from the bed and went to Bliss, taking him from his father's arms into his. Letting him know he understood and didn't pass judgement. After the sobs died down, he pulled back a bit and lifted Bliss' chin to look into his eyes.

"Bliss, what do you want to do?"

The young love god looked at Joxer, then swept the room with his gaze slowly, and finally looked back at Joxer.

"I… I'm too young, Joxer. I don't think I could be a father yet. Would you… and Gran'dad, raise him? I mean, I would like him to know that I'm his dad, and about Thais, she… she was a good person, she deserves to be remembered by her son… or daughter."

Joxer looked back briefly at Ares for confirmation and received a warm, accepting smile, then turned to Hera.

"My Queen, Ares and I are willing to raise the child, is this arrangement to your liking?"

"It's perfect!"

Joxer turned to the king of the gods, "Zeus?"

Zeus noticed the lack of reverence in the god's tone, but was grateful he was asked, even if he knew that his answer, if negative, would be ignored.

"It's fine," he sighed and left, Athena hot in his heels, glad a solution had been found easily.

Only Bliss stayed behind with Joxer, Jace, Ares and Strife, and the twins told the younger god how Joxer came about to carry his child, and Ares comforted his grandson, telling him about the peaceful time Thais was having in the Elysian Fields…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next five months passed peacefully enough. Until, that is, the day when Joxer starting having birthing pains. Ares was reduced to running around trying to be useful in vain, since everything he did turned out wrong.

Hera, Apollo and Asclepius soon took over and between Cupid and Strife they got Ares to stay seated next to the far wall and out of the way, a very nervous Bliss seated next to him.

Being a male, the three gods had to very carefully cut the baby out from Joxer’s engorged belly. One tension filled hour later, the cries of Olympus newest goddess filled the private chambers of the Hall of War.

While Apollo and Asclepius patched an unconscious Joxer up, Hera brought the little goddess to meet her family.

Handing her to Ares, he quickly handed her over to Bliss, settling her carefully on his shaking arms.

“Now careful, be sure to support her head, and don’t worry, she’s not made of glass, you can hug her,” Hera instructed smiling.

Bliss looked in awe at his daughter, for Ares and Joxer had agreed to let her know he was his real, biological father.

“She’s so beautiful. Thank you, Thais.” Bliss hugged her close as he remembered his first and only love. Rubbing the goddess’ back, he felt two little protrusions. Immediately worried he asked his great-grandmother.

“Oh that, she’s just growing her wings. We were expecting it. Every god from Ares’ line have them.”

“Wings!?!”

“Yes. She has to grow them, and then later on when she’s old enough she can choose to keep them or not.”

Apollo joined the group, wiping his hands on a wet cloth.

“Well guys, Jox there is gonna be alright. He just needs to catch plenty of z’s and keep pressure off his stomach. No bending over for anything. Okay?”

“That’s great, ‘Poll, thank you,” Ares finally spoke up, relief evident on his voice.

“No prob, dude. Gonna catch some waves, call me if ya need anything.”

Turning to Hera, Ares asked, “So what is she going to be, Mother?”

“Well, dearest. She seems to be the goddess of growth. It fits. She’s a daughter of love and war, both incentives of growth. You have to name her, though,” Hera finished with a laugh.

“Damia. Can we call her Damia, Gran’dad? Thais always loved that name.”

“Damia it is, Bliss. Come, let’s go have Damia meet her other father.”

Settling Damia on Joxer’s chest, Ares pulled back her blanket, allowing two small, snow-white wings to open fully and flutter slightly in the erratic movement of a baby. One tired hand moved up to stroke the little wings, and Ares looked up to see his Consort smile in wonder at the babe goddess on his chest.

Looking at the two gods above him, Joxer whispered,

“Our little Damia.”

~finis~


End file.
